GCR? I Don’t Think So!

We at SBC TooDazed are greatly concerned about all the flutter last week concerning the “GCR.” We’re not sure just what a “GCR” is, but we can unhesitatingly tell you that we’re pretty sure we’re against it, primarily because we did not come up with the idea. It isn’t one of the cardinal doctrines of Baptist Identity, the First Year Initiative or a canon of the Association of Convictionless Baptists.

Besides that, everyone knows that Danny Akin and David Dockery, two men who spoke of a “GCR” at the “SBC” last week, are being led around like marionettes by David Rogers. Yes, that same David Rogers who was baptized by a Mormon. Or he baptized a Mormon. Or a Mormon was present at a baptism he performed. What does it matter. He’s obviously a heretic. And a Mormon. Or at least that’s the story we’re going to keep telling.

So, what is this “GCR” that we are against? Don’t let anyone fool you. It is a Great Calvinistic Resurgence. Did you see what happened with Tom Ascol’s resolution this year? Did you see how the convention fell for his nefarious scheme of amending the resolution to include “repentance” language? Are you not aware that “repentance” language is code for five-point Calvinism? Heed me well, within a decade we will all be baptizing babies and preaching from the Institutes. We will have built bridges that we should be burning.

To add insult to injury, the “GCR” has a second meaning as well: a Great Charismatic Resurgence! We all know that Jerry Rankin speaks unintelligible gibberish when he prays. So does Dwight McKissic. Sure, it all starts out so small and innocent, but before you know it we’ll be having missionaries speaking Ega or Narau. Then we’ll be electing Jan Crouch as President of the SBC! Oh, it’ll happen. Trust me.

So, as you can see, we cannot support for one moment any of this “GCR” business. And neither should you.

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3 Responses to “GCR? I Don’t Think So!”

  1. nations1 Says:

    You guys are funny. The weird thing is we must read the same blogs cause I think I understood everything you were poking fun at. But of course I will not know that totally till I read this backwards to make sure I catch the “hidden” messages through backwards masking .

  2. Todd Littleton Says:

    Nancy,
    I recently discovered your blog. You should be read widely. Have you thought of a submission to the NYT, Washington Post, WSJ? Surely the RNS would enjoy your satirical insight.

  3. Lin Says:

    ” Yes, that same David Rogers who was baptized by a Mormon. Or he baptized a Mormon. Or a Mormon was present at a baptism he performed. What does it matter. He’s obviously a heretic. And a Mormon. Or at least that’s the story we’re going to keep telling.”

    I did not even see the original comment on this but it has been mentioned in so many comments on so many blogs and explained by Rogers so many times that even I know it is much ado about nothing. It has been a while since I have seen so many Baptists (Pastors even!) jump on something and insist on making it into something it is not. Mr. Rogers has been most gracious in his explanations which he has had to make ad nauseum. I feel sorry for the guy. He will be dogged on this for the rest of his life by these guys.

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